Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
