Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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