conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
