come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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