apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Can I color on your dick again?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
