If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
