East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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