this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Randomize
