Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
