Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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