saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize
