you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
