im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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