Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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