did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
COCAINE IS GR8
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
