I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
