Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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