I am puke
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
