recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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