i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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