His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
