You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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