So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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