He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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