I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize