its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
