Where is the hickey?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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