if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
