Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
