The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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