Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
