So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
