can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
