She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
