im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
