Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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