you would pick up someone in the library
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
