yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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