Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
