Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
