i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
