Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
