By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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