Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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