So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
