Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
