I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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