There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
