He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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