this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
