I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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