i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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